Why Men Love Bitches??

"From Doormat to Dreamgirl—A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship."

I have not read this book all the way through. To be honest I’ve only read a few of the bullet points but two of my friends are currently reading it and they swear that every word of it is truth.

Sherry Argov, a radio personality in Southern California at the time she wrote this book, asks the question, why do men like bitches? She doesn’t mean that men love women who are, well, bitches, but women who have confidence, who are independent thinkers, and who play by their own rules. Or, if you really think about it, women who play by her rules, all one hundred of her so-called “Attraction Principles.” I know that you are dying to read some examples, so here are a few:

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #5—If you start out dependent, it turns him off. But if it is something he can’t have, it becomes more of a challenge for him to get it.

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #10—When a woman doesn’t give in easily and doesn’t appear docile or submissive, it becomes more stimulating to obtain her.

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #18—Always give the appearance that he has plenty of space. It gets him to drop his guard.

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #37—If you give him a feeling of power, he’ll want to protect you and he’ll want to give you the world.

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #74—Men often automatically assume that a bitchier woman will be more assertive in bed, and that a nice girl will be more timid.

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #76—He’ll never respect you as being able to hold your own unless you can stand on your own two feet financially.

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #99—Truly powerful people don’t explain why they want respect. They simply don’t engage someone who doesn’t give it to them.

She discusses phone etiquette, what to do when planning a date, how to keep a man interested in bed. Basically, when a potential romantic interest calls or texts you don’t answer right away, give it a few hours, maybe a day. That way he’ll think you’re not that interested and he’ll work harder to attract you. If he asks you to go out that night, tell him you’re busy and that you’re available at some specific future date and time. Never accept a date that is made on short notice. This makes you seem too available.

It’s a game. All Argov is doing is giving you rules to win what she perceives to be the dating game.

My best friend read this book and thought it was genius. She is an avid consumer of self-help literature, but she reads these works and does not apply these rules to her life. The fact is, maybe it helps to know the rules but knowing doesn’t change who you are. You can be shown the light and still shy away from it. We all turn to the familiar. We follow comfortable patterns. Books like this are great at showing readers new possibilities. What they don’t do is guarantee that following these rules will bring about real change. Though the old ways of doing things haven’t worked, its easier to think that some day they will, that somewhere out there someone will like you for the way you are, and not for the game you play.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

I have heard numerous people refer to romance novels as pornographic literature—those people have never read literature written by the Marquis de Sade. He was a depraved French Aristocrat who spent much of his life in prison, where he wrote most of his work, and the latter part of his life was spent in an insane asylum. He lived through the era of the French Revolution, spent time in the Bastille, and led a life as illicit as the works he wrote.

I just finished reading Philosophy in the Bedroom for a class on sex in literature and film and I have never been more disturbed. Vice and Virtue are turned on their heads in this story. God is replaced with Nature and Her whims are what rule men’s actions. There is no evil, only virtue is frowned upon and is seen as something that should be destroyed.

Women exist to please men and should do so indiscriminately. Fathers, brothers, husbands, sons, mothers, sisters, all should find pleasure with each other if the desire for such things lies within their breasts. Children should be corrupted. They are never too young to be introduced into a life of debauchery. Murder, infanticide, rape, sexual and physical abuse; these are all deemed acceptable practices.

The sex scenes are graphic, violent and disturbing. As you read his work you can’t help but feel that he truly had a disturbed mind. I can’t say that my life is better for having read de Sade, but I can say that my views on sexuality have slightly altered. I think in reading this book I’ve become even more prudish than before, while at the same time have never thought so much about sex. I am glad to have read the book, if only because by saying I have read it, that means its finished and I never have to read it again.

I like a little more actual romance in my “pornographic literature.” Along with a little more of a story, a little less philosophical discourse and a lot less Vice with more Virtue.

Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.

I love to vent. When I get angry, I like nothing better than to talk someone else's ear off about how angry I am. I like relating how so and so has done me wrong. I like feeling justified in my anger. What I don't like is actually feeling angry. Anger is such a tiresome emotion that causes you to say and do hurtful things that you regret almost the instant you say or do them. I have a roommate who I constantly fight with, and I've found that the way for me to avoid regretful words is to write. I take all the hurtful, angry words that I want to shout in her face and I write them down in a very nasty note. A note filled with all the bitter emotions that come simmering to the surface and spewing forth like molten lava from fingers fighting the urge to curl into a fist. My writing is honest. It holds nothing back. My angry tears may stain the surface, while the dark lead marks show with what conviction I write my words. It's my passive aggressive form of confrontation. After I have finished writing my scathing retort to whatever altercation we just had I put the note some place she is sure is to find it and I walk away. Five minutes later of course I walk back and I tear it up, in a clearer frame of mind then I was at the time I was writing it. When I see my friend again, for she really is a very good friend, not just a roommate, I can talk to her about whatever issue we were having in a mature and respectful manner. The childish, mean-spirited Susan is torn up and thrown in the wastebasket and the adult Susan lives in harmony with her roommate for another day. Who knew that writing was the key to successful friendship?